Every year a local group holds a Renaissance Fair in a park near where I live. Some years the local Star Trek Fan Club (the U.S.S. Rubicon) would help out by volunteering to work as security. I wrote the following for their monthly News Letter.
RENAISSANCE
Report on incident that occurred in Sector 001 near and on the planet Earth, on old Earth Date, 24 June 2006
Copy to Federation President James T. Kirk
Copy to Starfleet Temporal Investigation Department
While transporting the Slaver Time Travel Box to Earth for enhanced security and more intense study by Federation scientists, USS Bastet NCC-61456 under the command of Commander D'Sefet, was attacked by an unidentified vessel as it approached the Sol Planetary System. Under strict orders to avoid all hostile action (orders Security-Chief was NOT happy with), I ordered Shields raised, speed increased and broadcast a request for assistance to any Federation vessels in the vicinity. U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701E,U.S.S. Rubicon NCC- 71816 in Earth orbit as well as a Perimeter Defense Patrol from Mars acknowledged the signal and headed for our location. The Slaver Box was secured in the Shuttle Bay Surrounded by an Anti-beaming Force Field. Safe I thought until a Phaser hit from the attacking vessel blew out a Power Transfer Conduit resulting in the loss of power to the Shuttle Bay systems. A second hit jarred loose some tools stored in the Bay and one of them struck the Box. As in the incident that occurred when the Box was found, the impact activated the Box's Time Travel mechanism and, U.S.S. Bastet and crew were transported through time. As soon as possible, I ordered All Stop so we could determine our location in time and assess the ship's condition. Although we were outside the orbit of the system's planet called Pluto when I ordered us stopped, our speed and momentum carried us into the system as far as the orbit of the planet called Neptune.
There were no causalities and other than two blown Power Conduits we were in good shape. Our first order of business was to determine just where in time we were. I ordered Communications to scan Subspace channels. There was no activity. I then ordered the EM Bands to be scanned. Communications reported there was a great deal of activity on them. Picking one channel that was broadcasting audio we soon learned our location in time. Our last accident had sent us back 200 years. This time we had gone a little further, arriving in the early years of Earth's 21st century, 2006 to be more exact. Because the Conduits had to be repaired before we could try to return to the future, and the additional question of the range of the Box's effect and whether we might have brought our attackers along with us into the past, I decided we would continue on to Earth and see if our accident had caused any problems there. I ordered the ship's historian to the Bridge so he could help in our analysis and ordered Communications to locate and tap into one of the planet's communications satellites to find an informational program for us to view.
We made a standard approach to the planet, but to avoid possible detection by any of the planet's observation devices and since we had no Cloaking Device, I ordered the establishment of a wider than normal orbit. By this time, Communications had located the signal of something called CNN that seemed to be reporting on the current events around the planet. I was relieved to hear that only the expected historical problems of this era were being discussed. My relief was short lived though, as OPPS reported scans showed a large concentration of weapons and armed persons gathered in a spot on the west coast of the planet's North American Continent. My Historian informed me that at this time that area of the planet was relatively peaceful. Not knowing whom our attackers had been and knowing if they were down there, they would have to be taken care of discreetly the only solution was an Away Team.
First problem: of the ranking officers on board the Bastet, only two, Jacobs and Doctor Selar could, with the addition of some sort of head gear, pass as human, and Jacobs was needed on board to make repairs. Considering the possible magnitude of the situation, I should lead the team, but being a Caitian, it would take more than a hat to disguise me! What it would have taken to disguise a 9 foot tall Kzinti, I could not imagine! I decided Selar accompanied by ship's historian would beam down to make the primary survey of the situation and advise on how to proceed.
A few minutes after beaming down, Selar called saying they were ready to beam back up. I noted that Selar's expression was more perturbed than usual, as she and an inexplicably grinning Texan historian stepped onto the Bridge. I asked for a report and Selar began, "There will be no need for disguises Commander." "She's right! All you'll need is a cape, pantaloons, a ruffled shirt and a pair of thigh high boots Commander," the historian added with a laugh. Probably sensing my confusion, Selar explained." The gathering is a reenactment fair." "What are the humans reenacting," Security-Chief asked. "Life of Earth's past," Selar answered. "You mean they dressed in skinsss and carrying clubsss," I asked. "And dragging the females around by the fur of their heads and eating bugs off one another," snootily adds Security-Chief. "Not quite that far back Sef.", Jacobs answers and turning to Security-Chief adds indignantly, "And we never ATE bugs off each other!" She pauses to see if I understand, which I did not so she continued. "It's a Renaissance fair. You know . . . King Arthur, Knights of the Round Table . . . eh." Although I did not understand her reference to the king, I DID think I knew what a Knight was; so I said, with an annoying look toward the human at OPPS, "You mean weaponsss we picked up were knivesss and swordsss! Then there no problem corect?" "We should still check the people out. If there were aliens there, no one would know," my historian cautioned. "That would be prudent Commander," Selar adds.
SO, in a short while, my Away Team was in the Transporter Room dressed in the uniform of the day or, if you will, days gone by. We were lucky, the theme of the fair was 'fantasy meets reality' so; Jacobs dressed me as a character called Puss'n'Boots, with a cape, sword and HAT. Selar, pointed ears proudly uncovered, as a winged creature called a fairy, ship's historian as a member of the nobility of that time. She tried to dress Security-Chief as something called a troll, however, after finding out about that creature, he refused. He ended up as something called 'beauty and the beast'. Although he thought he was the beauty, Jacobs gleefully confided in me that he was in fact the beast.
There was one final problem, MONEY. Knowing the Federation discourages counterfeiting a planets medium of exchange, and knowing enough about humans of this time to understand what they valued, I had Jacobs extract the latinum from two strips of gold-pressed latinum I won playing Dabo at Quarks on Deep Space 9 and form the gold into coin-sized disk. I hoped I would be able to trade for some of whatever currency was being used in the area.
My Team beamed down to a deserted spot a short distance from the fair and walked to the riverside park where it was being held. Looking over the crowd standing in line to buy admission, I saw a male that looked like he might be open to barter. Trying to remember ALL the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, Doctor Selar, my Historian, and I approached. I was afraid the male would need Doctor Selar services when, after explaining what we wanted, I showed him the disk. After making sure we were in earnest and that the metal was real gold, he asked, "Can you hold on a second?" Not understanding, I asked, "Hold on to what?" Seeing I was in trouble, my Historian laughed, hit me on the back and speaking in a most peculiar way said, "Sef! You're such a dang kidder! Sure partner, go on, we'll be here!" As the human walked away, my historian began to apologize, but holding up a paw, I indicated there was no need to. I then ask Doctor Selar for her opinion. She reported that she believed the male was interested in making an honest deal. By the time the male had rejoined us, with a human female, Security-Chief, sensing something might be wrong, had also joined the group. "Can my wife see the gold," the human asked. Not sure who or what he was referring to, I began to ask if this wife person was blind, but my Historian stepped in, again using his strange sounding accent, and saying, "Sure partner! Sef show the good lady the gold!" After she examined it, she asked what we wanted for it. This time, to avoid any misunderstandings, with a glance, I indicated to the Historian to answer. He did with a most Ferengi-like, "What do you care to offer?" After a short conference they said that about all they could spare was 400 dollars. Not sure what the exchange rate was for gold on this planet at that time, with an idea of the amount needed for us to enter the fair and willing to accept most any offer, with a nod from Doctor Selar, I accepted the human's offer. My historian was a bit annoyed at my haste, but I think he agreed with my reasoning.
A short time later we all passed through a wooden structure decorated to look like it was made of stone, and we split into two teams. Doctor Selar and the Historian comprised one team and Security-Chief and I the other. The Historian thought that maybe he should come with me in case I ran into some situation I did not understand, but I said I would be careful and that I wanted to personally keep an eye on Security-Chief around all these knives and strange acting humans. I then divided the remaining dollars among the group finding myself saying, much as Admiral Kirk said to his crew on their trip to the past, "Thisss all we have, be thrifty!" We picked a spot near where food and drink was being served as a meeting place and headed into the crowd.
There are times when I envy the duller senses of the humans, and this was one of them. For while the human sense of daytime sight is fairly keen and all the exhibits here were geared to dazzle them with bright colors and moving displays, their other senses are not. For a creature that has all his senses, the fair was a confusing place. In addition to the bright colors and moving displays, both Security-Chief and I could see other more private things going on in the shadows. Our ears not only clearly picked up sounds such as conversations close by, but also clearly heard music and other sounds from activities far removed from our location. In addition we heard the hypersonic sounds created by metal being struck by other material. Our noses were inundated by not the enticing smells the humans wanted to be noticed such as the food and incense, but also from the "animal" scents given off by the sun warmed humans, and the odd, noisy little creatures that were leading them around with ropes. When the wind was just right, the scent of fear from unseen prey animals, frightened by our proximity, as they seemed to know what Security-Chief and I really were, added to this heady mix.
I was almost lost in all that when I heard a human say, "A beauty isn't she?" I looked to see that Security-Chief had gotten ahead of me and was holding a very long, sharp, particularly deadly looking sword up in front of what appeared in contrast an extremely small, frail human. I hurried to the location and positioned myself for whatever might happen. The human, blissfully ignorant he was nose to nose with a species that still secretly, at least, considered him food, continued his sales pitch. He points out the blade and said it was something called Damascus steel, and he continued explaining how it was produced. As he continued, I noticed Security-Chief's ears, tail and body signaling an emotion I did not immediately recognize. For a moment I feared Security-Chief, like me, might be suffering from sensory overload, and he was getting ready to 'Scream and Leap', but, as I readied my Phaser, I realized what he was feeling. Although I did not think it possible for a pragmatic, utilitarian felinoid, my Kzinti friend was in love with an inanimate object! The human finished his speech and then informed us of the price. Immediately Security-Chief's body language changed from ecstasy to dismay for the asking price was almost as much as we got for the gold disk in the first place. I watched as Security-Chief took one last, long, loving look at the weapon and then slowly, carefully, respectfully pawed it back to the human and sadly walked away. I spoke to the human, thanked him for his time, and followed Security-Chief as he headed for our Away Team's prearranged meeting place. Doctor Selar and the Historian were waiting for us and as we approached, my Historian said, "We thought you two would be hungry so we purchased some food we thought you'd like." Pawing me a plate, he continued, "This is Teriyaki Chicken with vegetables and noodles Commander. The good Doctor isn't to happy with all the starch in the noodles, but says it probably won't kill you this time." "And for you," he said, turning his attention to Security-Chief, "There weren't too many dishes with just meat, but there were Turkey Legs! And we got you six!" He sat the sagging, overloaded plate in front of the Kzinti and like any smart human feeding a wild lion or tiger, quickly moved out of the way anticipating a lunge at the food. Security-Chief however did not make a lunge. He didn't even look at the food. My Historian looked disappointed and Selar, always the doctor, asked as she opened her Tricorder and began discreetly scanning the sullen Kzinti, "Are you feeling all right?" I had learned two things about the Kzinti psyche that were previously unknown to me. One; that they, as I assume almost every sentient creature in the universe, can desire an object so much that being denied it sends them into a depression. And two; Kzinti were as capable of acting as childish as any other sentient creature. "He not ill Doctorrr," I began, as although sympathetic, my anger grew "You acting like KIT are you nnnot Little Kzintosh?" Hearing me use Sara's demeaning term for him, Security-Chief faced my direction, his ears flattened, his eyes blazing and his mouth showing a slight 'Kzinti Smile'. If I had been a human I might have been intimidated, but I was feline too and his commanding officer. "I will NOT have my officersss wasting resourcesss! You WILL eat ALL food that on your plate," I order. With a growl that probably besides me only Doctor Selar could hear, Security-Chief picked up a Turkey Leg and began to eat.
As we eat, we compared our findings as to if there were any aliens here that did not belong. Selar reported that all the people she scanned appeared to be human and suited to this time period. I added that Security-Chief thought the human called a 'Stage Manger' near a place called the 'Queen's Stage' might be a Ferengi in disguise, but the Tricorder confirmed he was in fact a human. I continued by reporting that there were humans there wearing uniforms that said U.S.S. Rubicon with the correct NCC number, but I did not recognize the style of uniform and the Com devices some of them were carrying were, to say the least, primitive. Security-Chief had commented that they were probably the ship's Bowling Team, but that if a fight broke out, we could use them as a diversion. Seeing they were unarmed, I questioned the 'humanity' of his plan. However, he did point out that many were wearing red shirts that had SECURITY printed on them, and I had to concede Security-Chief had a point, especially after seeing Doctor McCoy rise from examining the smoldering remains of many a shipmate and saying to Captain Kirk, "He WORE RED Jim!" Hoping to avoid this, I ordered the Bastet to set Phasers for stun and prepare to fire a wide burst at the gathering. Finally I summed up by saying that it appeared our attackers had NOT followed us into the past, and if they had been caught in the Slaver Box's effect, they had been sent to some point earlier in time, to be trapped there forever. So if we could exit this planet without further incident there would be no future problems. Both my Historian and Doctor Selar agreed and seeing that all are finished eating I ordered my Team to head for the Beam Out Point. When Doctor Selar asked what I planed to do, I answer I wanted to have one last look around to make sure WE did not leave anything behind and wanted them to go and make sure the Beaming area was deserted and ready for our departure. I add I will be along in just a few minutes. In reality I wanted to get Sara a colorful silk scarf I had seen in one of the displays but not had the time to decide which one I wanted when I was with Security-Chief.
"Oh, WHY," are the first words out of Doctor Selar's mouth as I joined them at the Beam Out Point. The reason for her apprehension, besides the scarf for Sara, I am carrying a very long, sharp, particularly deadly looking sword with a blade made of something called Damascus steel. As I pawed it to a disbelieving Security-Chief, she continued, "You know Jacobs isn't thrilled that he carries a Phaser! What will she say about that?" Security-Chief stopped his caressing of the weapon and answered, "This, THIS is NOT a weapon to be carried every day Doctor! THIS weapon MUST be put in a place of great honor and worn ONLY for special occasions and ceremonies!" Then turning to me, he said, "Thank you D'Sefet-Commander! I must apologize for my earlier behavior! I am indebted to you! But the cost? How?" "When Jacobsss drained latinum, there wasss enough gold for two disksss Security-Chief," I explained adding, "I kept sssecond in rrreserve, just in case." "Logical.", Doctor Selar comments. "Now, if we rrready, D'Sefet to Bastet! Fourrr to Beam UP," I ordered.
As we began the transport, I saw him! A young human male had been behind some bushes, probably all the time we had been here. He had some sort of crude, burning paper tube in his mouth and he appeared to be inhaling the smoke. Seeing us disappearing, his mouth dropped open, he coughed out the smoke he has just inhaled. He ripped the tube from between his lips, threw it to the ground and violently stomped on it. Then he ran away in terror. It was to late to do ANYTHING about him and without proof, remembering my own kit years, I doubted anyone would believe him so; I forgot about it.
We returned to our time, obviously, about 45 minutes after we left it. To be safe from other vessels, I took the Bastet out of the solar system for our return. U.S.S. Enterprise NCC-1701E, U.S.S. Rubicon NCC- 71816 had arrived at the battle within minutes of our call for assistance, and although not finding any sign of us, did find our attacker and destroyed him. His identity is still unknown as of this report, but the wreckage has been collected and is being studied. As far as Temporal Investigations can tell, our unauthorized trip left no lasting changes or problems except, one, the human male who saw us Beam Up. The paper tube had contained a popular drug that's use was banned in that time period. Original records indicated that he had spent his life doing nothing except using increasingly stronger drugs. After our encounter, which he described in his autobiography as an encounter with 'angels', one he described as having a flaming sword, he quit using drugs and became a noted scientist who's work contributed to finding a cure for one of the most devastating human diseases of that time period. After delivering the Slaver Box, we returned to FI-9 without further incident. All has returned to our version of 'normal'. Security-Chief has hung his sword in his office just above the mounted head of his Cape buffalo.
Submitted by: Commander D'Sefet, Commanding Federation Installation Nine
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